Living here in Caithness, I have learnt more about the seasons and what to expect in wildlife than I did while was in the Ballindalloch area. Maybe it is because I am older, no not wiser, and taking the dogs out every morning for their walk. Well Belle, our Cocker, does not so much walk as drags me along. As with all cocker's, life is so exciting and interesting. Each new step brings a new smell that just has to be followed. Louie, our Black Lab, is only interested in his ball and when can he play, with me with it. Given up buying Louie new footballs, they now get puncher in a couple of day with Belle's help. He look a sad sight carrying his totally deflated ball in his mouth but not in his eyes, Louie is in heaven.
Friday 16 September 2011
Friday 9 September 2011
Irrational Feelings of a Grieving Dad
I am not sure how this blog will be received or if I should write it at all. So at the very start of it I will apologise to anyone I may offend or can't understand the reasoning behind it.
Sunday is the anniversary of 9/11. I remember watching the event on my PC at work, watching in horror the events unfolding. Watching as the twin towers collapse. Feeling for those who have died and the people they have left behind. Why can I not have those feelings now? Why do I turn over when anything comes on about it? Yesterday I broke down when a relative was being interviewed and it hit me, it was jealously. You see 2 1/2 years ago my son died, no one was remembering him, TV programs were not mentioning him, February 2nd is not remembered as a world event, why not? I was hurting just as much as that relative being interviewed and I cried. I cried on and off most of the day for Kristian, my died son, I am crying writing this. I wanted to shout out to the TV "Who remembers my son, is his death any less hurtful? Is he not worth remembering?". No one really apart from his family remembers him in reality.
Sunday is the anniversary of 9/11. I remember watching the event on my PC at work, watching in horror the events unfolding. Watching as the twin towers collapse. Feeling for those who have died and the people they have left behind. Why can I not have those feelings now? Why do I turn over when anything comes on about it? Yesterday I broke down when a relative was being interviewed and it hit me, it was jealously. You see 2 1/2 years ago my son died, no one was remembering him, TV programs were not mentioning him, February 2nd is not remembered as a world event, why not? I was hurting just as much as that relative being interviewed and I cried. I cried on and off most of the day for Kristian, my died son, I am crying writing this. I wanted to shout out to the TV "Who remembers my son, is his death any less hurtful? Is he not worth remembering?". No one really apart from his family remembers him in reality.
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