Thursday 24 November 2011

My Story - Part 7: life in the Highlands continued

Malcolm and Iain would come back to visit, Shelagh too. Our pet was a cat that had adopted us in Greenlaw and we brought up with us. Malcolm provided us with another pet, a border collie, Nerk. For some reason when he was in barracks in Windsor he decided to buy this dog. He knew he was coming up to visit and decided to hide it in the barracks. This he managed and drove up with the dog. 'Nerk' is army slang for an idiot and this he was. I don't know how many pups he fathered in the glen but most farms had his pups. The farmers were not pleased as the pups were as stupid as he was but we loved him.

Iain gives us our second 'pet'. By this time Iain had moved into some section of the army that no one spoke about and paid him a handsome wage. There is a book recently out about the 'section' he was in. Iain drove up in Lotus Elan, what a car that was. On one of his trips down to London a E-type passed him and so that was the end of his Lotus and he returned with a E-Type. One time both Malcolm and Iain were both home and set off to Tomintoul to buy some rolls a 15min journey tops. They returned home late afternoon with a pony. Now in a few weeks Iain was returning abroad, leaving us with this horse and no field to keep it in. Also I was to look after it. What did I know about horses? Never been near one, never mind ride one. I gradually learnt to ride by trial and error, mostly error. Apache, the horse, grazed on the 'back road', it was a grass track. Most evenings I had to get off the school bus before home to get the horse and ride him home, bareback and without reigns. I rode all over the glen and even over he hills to Tomintoul on a few occasions. The visit to Tomintoul was to visit a girl who I knew loved horses, nope we did not 'become and item'. Well you give me A for effort. After a year or so it dawned on Iain that maybe because he was away most of the time and we were not good at looking after the horse, that he should sell it.

That was not the end of our 'pets'. Two ducks adopted us, Nina & Frederick. For those of you my age you will know where the names came from. Why they came and why they stayed, don't know but they spent years with us. They would even follow Mum or Dad down to the local the shop, about 1/4 mile. The farmers started to get upset at these 2 duck eating their grain and threatened to shoot them. We had to clip their wings to keep them safe. This did not stop them walking down to the shop though.

Duncan's band was coming on, it was called Scotch Mist. Duncan on guitar, Les bass, Jocky Drums and Bobby accordion  Remember this is the highlands and you must be able to play Scottish country music for the dances. Duncan & Les also had a duo act for lounge bars and clubs. yes, some of the clubs did have strippers. A good catholic lad had to play for strippers, dad was hardly off his knees.

Dad got a job on the local shooting estate. This was very big business and had the likes of Henry Ford flying in for the shoots. During the shooting seasons a large number of university students were hired as beaters and lodged in local houses or a old lodge. I went out beating too, every day until school started and then at weekends. This was great fun but not at the start. Then you were unfit and the hill were very steep but felt much steeper then. The parties at weekends made up for it, as well as comradery. I also learnt how to strike, which we did when the rain got too heavy.

Things were going well at school, I repeated another year and that year there was only 2 of us, Margaret from the Bochel & me. I still had my stammer and the headmaster thought he would try to help. He asked a friend he knew, who taught people how to relax. Part of stammering was stress. I had private session in the science lab. There I could lay down flat on the science benches and relax. Later on I did relaxation but nothing like this. He was middle aged and I am not sure what real qualifications he had. To teach me how to breath, he laid his hand on my stomach and felt how it rose and feel. As the weeks went on his hand gradually move down until one week it eventually went under my belt and into my trousers. This went on for quite a while. During one 'session' he unzipped himself and asked me to hold him. He also said he could help my stammer more if I went to his house on Saturday's.

This time I did tell someone, the farmers son. he did advise me to tell my parents or the school but i was to shy too. How do you tell some one that? I am not sure how the sessions ended, I think I said they weren't helping but I don't really know but they did end.

Around the same time a friend of Iain's suddenly appeared for a stay. He had stayed before but with Iain. We did not like him but Mum and Dad felt they could not say no, he was quiet intimidating . One night, late on, he came into my room and started to speak. Eventually he had me in his hand and made me cum. Then he wanted me to do the same to him but I refused. It was easier to say no to taking a active role than being a 'passive bystander'. As I said before he was an intimidating & I knew a little of the work him & Iain were doing.  He was not happy and called me names etc. but I was glad that he left my bedroom. He also left us soon afterwards and never returned.

Sometimes I wonder if I have a sign on my head saying please take advantage of me, especially by people in authority. As a baby and growing up my hirschsprung's treatment was very invasive as most of it is via the bottom. I am not saying anyone in the medical profession abused me, they all tried to help but people in authority did hurtful things to me as part of my treatment. Then when those others in authority or those I felt I had no control over, also 'hurt' me. I remember being told that as a baby, I had drips in all 4 limbs but I would struggle and they would come out. To stop this the ward sister tired my legs and feet to the cot. I do believe she meant no harm but not a great thing to do. Also when I was having a regular examination at a new hospital, the consultant had students with him. After the digital examination and they were going off, one male student whispered to me, 'I see you enjoyed that'. As often happened when being digitally examined you get and erection, I was only just 13. It made me feel ashamed and embarrassed. Luckily I never went back there as we moved to the Braes

That was the last time I was sexually abused, thank goodness but not the last time I was abused but that was later on in my life. I do believe that if I was not mentally abused later on, these episodes would of past and not resurfaced with such vengeance and nearly destroyed me.

The next few parts of my story will be happier. 

My Story - Part 6: A New Life in The Highlands

Living in Greenlaw, I thought I was living in the country but The Braes of Glenlivet, well that was the country. Glenlivet is in the Grampian Mountain range, near the Cairngorms. Right in the middle of the Highlands. About 70 miles west of Aberdeen and 50 miles SE of Inverness. There was 1 road in and that ended at the bottom of our house. Beyond there where the Ladder Hills, the other side of those was the Lecht which is now a Ski centre. The Lecht road is better known as the Cockbridge Tomintoul road, notoriously the first road closed in Scotland by snow. We moved to the Braes in the summer of '65, things were not as sophisticated as they are now. Everything was basic from shops to road clearing, to facilities.

Tuesday 15 November 2011

My Story - Part 5: Greenlaw

After battling as a baby with Hirschsprung's (HD) it teaches you not to give in, so here I am again.

Greenlaw is a village in the Scottish Borders in the county of Berwickshire, for those of you who don't know where it is. It is a odd county, as you would expect the county town to be Berwick but that is in another country, England. It was in Berwickshire but some hooligans crossed the border, killed everyone in the town and said this town is now English and no one was alive to argue.